When we talk about Filipino parenting, we often hear how strict they can be. This strictness has both good and bad sides, but sometimes it leads to a toxic culture. In this post, we’ll talk about some common behaviors in Filipino homes and how they affect kids. We’ll also answer key questions like, “Are Filipinos strict parents?” and “What are the expectations of Filipino parents?”
Are Filipinos Strict Parents?
Yes, many Filipino parents are known to be strict. Growing up in a Filipino home means having a lot of rules. Kids are expected to always be polite, follow traditions, and respect their elders. Sometimes, this strictness goes too far. Parents may control their children’s lives, from the way they study to who their friends are.
Strict parents believe they’re doing what’s best for their children. However, when this goes too far, it can make kids feel trapped. Constantly being told what to do can limit a child’s ability to grow into an independent person.
Expectations of Filipino Parents
Filipino parents often have high expectations for their kids. They want them to be excellent in school, respectful to elders, and successful in their future careers. Sometimes, these expectations are way too high and can be unrealistic. For example, a child might be forced to take a specific career path even if it’s not what they want.
Some of these expectations come from a desire for family pride. Parents believe that their children’s success reflects their own success. This pressure can lead to stress, anxiety, and frustration for many kids. If a child doesn’t meet these high standards, they may feel like they’re a failure, which is harmful to their self-esteem.
What is Shame in Filipino Culture?
Shame plays a big role in Filipino culture. The idea of “hiya,” or shame, is very important. This means that Filipinos try very hard not to embarrass themselves or their family in public. Parents use this as a tool to keep their kids in line. If a child misbehaves, parents may say things like, “What will people think?” or “You’re embarrassing our family.”
This constant worry about shame can create a toxic environment. Kids may grow up always afraid of making mistakes. They might avoid trying new things out of fear that they’ll embarrass their family. Instead of learning from their failures, they try to be perfect, which is impossible.
Emotional Effects of Shame
The use of shame as a form of discipline can have long-term emotional effects on children. Many kids grow up feeling like they must always be perfect to avoid bringing shame to their family. This pressure can cause anxiety and depression. It also makes it hard for children to express their true feelings, as they fear being judged or shamed by their parents.
Do Filipinos Take Care of Their Parents?
In Filipino culture, taking care of your parents is a big deal. When parents get old, their children are expected to take care of them. This is a way of showing respect and love. Many families live together in one home so that they can easily care for their elders. This tradition shows how important family is to Filipinos.
However, this duty can also become toxic. Sometimes, children are expected to sacrifice their own lives to take care of their aging parents. They may have to give up career opportunities or personal goals. While respecting your elders is important, it’s also crucial to have a balance.
Dealing with Toxic Filipino Culture in Parenting
While there are positive sides to Filipino parenting, like family unity and respect, there are also harmful parts. To deal with toxic parenting habits, it’s important to set boundaries. Children should feel free to express themselves without the fear of shame or judgment.
Parents, on the other hand, should learn to trust their children and give them the space to grow. Strictness doesn’t always result in success. In fact, it can limit a child’s potential. Having open conversations about expectations and goals can help create a healthier family dynamic.
Breaking Free from Toxic Parenting
Breaking free from these toxic habits isn’t easy, but it’s necessary for a child’s growth. Children must learn that they are more than just a reflection of their parents. They should be encouraged to follow their own path, even if it’s not what their parents envisioned for them.
As for parents, understanding that their child’s success isn’t tied to their worth can lead to healthier relationships. The focus should be on support and guidance, rather than control.
By understanding the toxic aspects of Filipino culture in parenting, families can work towards a healthier and happier environment. It’s all about balance—respect for tradition while also allowing children the freedom to become their own person.
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